hoong.zhan

How should i start this ...? Lol back to start mode okay . 1st semester of my course been over , second semester , what else coming 2012 coming , what else Christmas coming like what hohoho ?! chinese new year .., NEW year ..did i missed one thing ?? guess no .i always carried it with me , is OUR annivessary 1year , we've been known for 1year plus , yes we've been in love for almost years . But am i your choice now ?? don't misund this question , am i the one you need the most in your life , now or future or whenever , i hope you are mine , but look at me what i did at the mall today .

Things seems fine , we've been crazy around the mall from 1st floor to 4th floor any where , most exited was WE , hitting each another , scolding another like the another couple never been that ..we was like OVER LOVING hahha...best part as always 1st . Worst part was i am still a sensitive jealously guys , this time this moment i don't know what i feel was , i don't understand . Things wont like that , after i saw it , is that action nessassary or was me too sensitive , i thought i wont jealous , but i still . means what ? means i still care about this relationship , hell yes i am , but if had to be challenging am i still care about this relationship , by using this way , wtf ?

So thats why i asked , am i you choice .

The guy just wont wipe the tear for you when you tear

The guy wont say sorry on what he did

The guy wont give a huggies after what he did

The guy wont give her a chance for explaining

The guy still the same

The guy is ME .

if the way we keep being like this on the next year final exam , i rather stop your pain once and for all at now . Set you free now . Tell everyone , tell me .. that "YOU DESERVE BETTER" . Life is short for you to keep bleeding , pain , sorrow . We had sweet time , of course i would never fucking forget this memories that been we pass together . Don't blame yourself that you say yourself with many many thing in your head girl , undo those negative .

I made this choice , i've suffer . Reason i've suffer cause i know you were suffer . Please live like before , i admit that before we start in a relationship , we're a sweet half couple , half friends that no one can campared with us in the world . Now does't matter anymore , matter is you had to changed your happy life girl . No one can help , unless yourself .

Let me be cruel .
Forgive me , maybe you're still blur on what i did , head pop out with , why ? why ? why ?

I've a hardest decision of all time in my life . I don't like this , but if there is a choice i hope i a story writter of this relationship , change everything by my own hand , undo everything i screw up for you . I'm sorry . i'm no longer a worthy guy man . See you , just ask for me return like before , sweet like before , i cant or i could't ?? i don't know who am i ? Maybe i use to be myself for a while , or one day i'll regret . Not today , not now. Your tear just wont stop dropping , this decision is hard and terrible and i'm cold blooded guy , treating you .

take care girl , focus on what you need . You're not young either for me , i'm sorry . You're my 1st girl i ever love that hard that much that sweet , and also the last girl . Thanks for all the time what you've gave me , everysingle second you did very well for me , so many surprise , even no people celebrate b'day for me , you had be the 1st , whos make so many stuff . i remember that . such memories . But now , maybe is stupidity decision or is really had to be a hard time for us .

Live happy for me .

Cause you worth for that , not now .

i'm crawling back old me still :|

consider lost still ??

i don't know what am i , who am i know ?

i'm change ??

Been long time not blogging , almost forget how's it work , my blog is full of dusty gonna fresh it back babehh* .Been a month

i've study here at Subang Jaya . Been starting habit everything , miss many stuff and HER from my OLDTOWN IPOH man , no place is better

than your own hometown .

Last Thursday night, was a most shitting day ever happen on me , i was bought a ticket back to hometown suppose to be 9.05sharp but it

delay for 20mins , and was like finally i saw the worker at the train station lead us to another gate , i THOUGHT is change train ...

but it does't totally out of my mind man , the preparing us a bus back to hometown , and everyone the same , shytt ?! i asked one

of the worker he told me , train road is FLOODED !! wtf , 1st time heard this in my life .urghhhh ! forget it i just want to go home man,

no shit anymore , get ass up the bus and just home ...at 2am something . better than no home :) , 1st things is i think of food , MAMAK !

Mee GORENG satu bang !!

Next day , hmmpps ! Been date to swim today with her , lol i was so shy man in the water plus i'm not an good swimmer but i can swim a while

but i freeze afterwards lol shaking of my teeth kekekekekekek* ! whoaaa la , lol i ask her to hug me in the water than get some warm , now i really

admit that i am a monkey king SUN WU KONG ! Same many hair on my legs ,no everywhere of my body , afraid of water ya ! Actually i afraid of freeze .

So people want to kill me its easy , just push me into a deep water then i'm a dead LOL kidding . Sweet memoriess man , before we start they was a husband

and wife taking their wedding photo , kinda of sweet man , i know she just keep stare at it , but then she said DONT WANT MARRIED need to be so energy .

I WAS LOL!!!!! it is :D .

After fetch her home , in my mind i was thinking about STEAMBOAT !! ohh ma gard ! let's steam it . Hungry , tired and cold BUT SWEET . Called and texted so many

friend only two guys a AVAILABLE for that day . N years ago , we was about 10person a full group like a family , but now time's change some are free some are not

need a worldwide holiday !! Only can meet them , so 3 person using 3 hour to kill those food , gosh i never expect that i ate for two hour get no feeling after half hour

i feel full like finally , thanks to him the griller king , grill non stop !! wtf ! After that day , our ass is BURST !!! when poping -.- peace!!

Saturday , owhhh this is gonna be a long ! I was been ORDER to stay at home , so any appoinment come to me i refuse it for 0 reason , what crap shit is that , never mind

i play game at home , cause this order been ORDERED early a week LOL , no point . She was asking me to skype and then 10mins her name never freaking appear at my skype list

i was been thought this girl is so busy on something again LOL , i can tetris battle man , wait her reply , and suddenly my pretty crap sister came in and told me thats a "SPIDER"

, and i totally : WTF ?? don't lame man , i wont believe her lol , but because it really does happen few time of big spider appear at room so ? i went up to have a look then .

(HErE the exiting PART) the door was close , i believe that spider is really big , once i open a door !?! WHOAAA !! what the hell is this , wait a minutes what are you doing ?? LOl a birthday cake

whoaa how she get in ?? how come ?? what happen ? question mark non-stop , i was like BLACKOUT ! everything was according to a plan , whoaa this time her bluff is totally real and ... i don't know i just believe it ! LOL

she even dare walk in , before this , she was afraid of everything oh my ! Now she's a HERO , my HERO . Even my mom asked my sister today is my son birthday ?? How the heck i don't know .

It's a perfect surprise ever happen !! she's good !! they're good with some bullshit ! i've been SHITTED ! :D i love you babeee .

Sunday , oh yehhh time was quick everything was like yesterday , and its today to leave , well before i leave meet with friend , they miss me , of cause i miss them too , having a crazy breakfast that cost 5 of us RM240 !!

what the fuck we just ate ?!!?! DIM SUM for 240 ?? ABALONE ?? well i don't see any , shark fin ?? You mean inside the char siuew baoo ? and then auntie told us she times 3 le , shit la aunties , i was thinking to wash disheh

it's 80 ! but still crazy , don't know who's asshole order so much good food LOL . worth la , not everyday wertt .Miss the day with these fella .

Then almost 1something i go to her shop . lol woots , i was like a family there , KIDDING ! but was like we working together even i know i only had just a while , so what ? its satisfaction wert , is with her not another chick

wipe plates , staying inside kitchen , see-ing how she having fun there , good to see her happy there , give her a kiss , LOL in my expect i thought she gonna dodge it ..well is as usual LOL ! but she dint LOL was YUMMY !! well

i need HUG MORE !!! lol .

Hello, peps blog been a while not blog-up , well i'm without a computer been a while . Hmm be things started get use to it here . Food good , but my hometown food are way better and much cheaper , things here is about "MONEY MONEY MONEY...." . EVERYNIGHT is my nightmare , especially insomnia mode and bored mode , owhhh miannn f-Up !

Hmm days ago went back for hometown , smell the 'IPOH MALI' yo , 1st things i need my BED , owhh , nothing can compared with my bed . Woo girlss i'm homie now :) , i'm backss . But my holiday only had 2days , but still i got two days with ya , wuuu what a day i really cant forget 'MERDEKA' erkkhmmm ,a boring place but sweet for us.the only 1st time be that late huh , lol remember next time is my turn get drunken up and you carry me home , you said that . !! oh ya , holy sister happy burfdayss huh , keep that PRESENT for your life , cause i'm not gonna grab my wallet for your present lol .

Oh yes been a while not meeting my bunch of bros , how are you man , early morning yumcha ?? ON ! i'm a drive without a flesh gps i'm nothing with the car LOL . Almost forget how to get them , wuuu non stop talking cb crap stuff , ohh yess ! talk talk talkkk . Fun time come , we're a GAME-HOLIC before so of cause back to where we start our friendship , imax for sure la bang , come on dota , cs ! what else . and very suddenly two chicks walk in cover my eyes ! i'm the highest to the lowest thankewwww LADIESS boom boom !

Guess things been more clearly for both of us , somehow we okay not we is me 1st , me like to write on status and without telling her anything , me like to hide out and speak after i go somewhere else called "SOMEWHERE" , such an xhole . Yesterdays call feeel sweet miannn , we straight to another , we said out what we need to each , well best thing is this moment , least we not acting happen behind we're sorrow , guess gonna clean this part away , i mean sorrow part right f.f.b.boom !

in the damn free cc net for blogging and facebook , human cant live without air , now human cant live without Facebook what the hashh ! LOL sounds true i'm half of it . ohh man , sleepy crapp now time to go .

kinda homesick , miss mom's cooking .